October 1995
1. U.S. teens spent an average of $258
monthly in 1993.
2. 10% of American teens use their parents'
credit cards.
3. 25% of 18- and 19-year-olds have their own
credit cards.
4. In 1993, teens had a combined income of
$86 billion.
All four statements are true. Surprised? I was when I first saw them. While your Nebraska teen may not fit the above picture exactly, it is important that we, as parents of teens, realize young people probably have money, and use it often.
What can you as a parent do to help your teen better manage financial resources? First, and probably most important, realize you, as their parent, are constantly teaching them about money and money management by your example. They learn money strategies such as budgeting or savings and spending plans as well as money attitudes by observing what you do or don't do, and by listening to how you talk about money and money responsibility.
Involve teens (and even younger youth) in family money discussions and decision making. They may bring up ideas you may not think about. Involving them in setting family financial goals also better ensures they "buy into" family priorities.
If your teen isn't already involved in household money management, consider doing so. Young teens (and even younger children) can write checks for household bills (if you still pay with checks) -- everything but the signature. They'll learn how to write a check correctly -- and where the family's money goes. Teens can also be involved in helping with the family record keeping systems. Another good learning opportunity.
Most teens are very good at spending money. But what do you do when they want the $60 jeans and you think the family budget (or your value system) only will handle the $25 version? One idea is to give them the $25 and let them earn the extra money they think they need. Other parents have an annual clothing allowance for teenagers; if the entire amount is spent by March, the teen must earn money for any clothes for the rest of the year.
Consider true-to-life experiences with credit. An advance on the allowance -- put it on a business basis. What is the length of the debt? How much interest will need to be repaid? What happens if they "default?"
Some teens are employed. If your teenager is, or wants to be, decide together what the "rules" are. What grade average must be maintained in school? What about extracurricular activities? Family responsibilities? And what about their personal health?
Is it entirely up to the teen to decide just how any earned money is spent? Or must a certain portion be saved? And if saved, for what purpose? And must a certain amount go to cover household expenses? Employment can be another opportunity for true-to-life lessons in money management.
Kathy Prochaska-Cue, PhD
Extension Family Economist Specialist
The youth identified issues regarding punishment as the number one relationship problem with parents.
Here are five suggestions for healthy parental discipline:
1. Recognize when emotions are at a peak and do nothing in a livid state. Both parents and youth need to "cool off" before anything is done.
2. Investigate the details before making a decision. Discover what really happened; allowing youth involved to tell their side of the story. One of the quickest routes to emotional damage is inappropriate punishment. Conversely, it is just as dangerous to dismiss behavior by shifting blame to another.
3. Share the child's behavior with another adult to get perspective. An impartial individual may help one see the child or situation more realistically to help find practical ways to handle the situation.
4. Studies show that parents who become educated about child development, parental role, family relationships and consistency are good parents.
5. Parents must make personal values clear to their children and be consistent in maintaining them.
Sources: Youthoughts, Spring 1992
COMPASS, May 1993
The following areas are those in which parents can be particularly effective:
Set "realistic" expectations for their youth
and family
- homework rules, TV, time with friends,
curfew
- develop family rituals and family time
Focus on communication and managing
disagreements with youth, maintaining:
- supportive, positive interaction
- consistent discipline/positive
reinforcement
Help youth increase skills and confidence in
decision making and stress management
techniques
- offer assistance and encouragement
- give positive feedback
Encourage participation in positive social
networks
- extracurricular activity (after school
groups, 4-H, sports, etc.)
Source: 4-H & Youth Development, December 1993